Due Diligence

Well, this has been a SUPER busy week. I haven't posted in awhile in due to time constraints. Tonight was a productive night for the boys and I. We went for a long walk (about an hour). Dustin spent most of the time walking our rat terrier named Bonnie. Although, she pulled him too hard at one point and he fell down and got a nasty scrape on his knee. So, we got that bandaged up once we got home. So, the dogs and the kids, save Dakota, got some good exercise. Once we got home we had some lime popcicles. Dakota shared mine and boy does he love licking those! Then it was shower time. Dustin was quite brave considering his newly obtained ouchie. Afterwards it was a brief playtime followed by a book and then bed. Nothing like Cat in the Hat to shut down the night. Dustin has recently acquired the bad habit of sucking his thumb. It makes me irritated however I think he regressing a little bit because he sees how much attention his little brother gets. I'm told that is normal, however I don't want him to mess up his teeth. I still have the Cat in the Hat rhymes in my head. I find myself wanting to rhyme as I write this.
Work is a never ending series of work. LOL! Although, they did move me to a corner cube which seems more spacious. Although, it's the same size as the others. I enjoy working in a corner cube after two years in the middle of everyone. It only took me 3.5 years to get a corner cube. :) Perhaps I'm moving up in the world.
My friend and I were talking today about adoption. What a difficult situation that would be to go through. I told her that the people that adopt must be stronger than me. She's had infertility issues, which my sister is now experiencing. Of course since I have no experience with either and I can only empathize with those individuals. It takes great courage do tread both paths. I'm lucky that when I wanted kids that I was able to conceive. With Dustin I accidentally missed three birth control pills (not in succession) and poof I was pregnant. He was the best oops I've ever done. With Dakota I tried for three months and became pregnant. I know how much I love my children and am in awe of people that have to walk the difficult path to experience such a wonderous gift. I'm sure that it makes it that much sweeter. However, I by no means take my children for granted. I realize that they are the best gift I've ever received and feel undeserving of such a wonderous gift. I become angry when I hear people tell young women (teens) that a baby will ruin their lives. I'm NOT saying I condone teen pregnancy, however I think a baby is a wonderful gift and telling someone that it will ruin their life is a travesty. It can be difficult and trying at times. However, I view my children not as something that I must SURVIVE, but as something I'm blessed to experience. Things are difficult right now due to finances, but at the end of every day I can look at my children and know that whatever I must go through to ensure that they are okay is well worth the effort. God Bless those that must walk difficult paths to experience what I have been given so freely. For they must be stronger than I.

Economic Hardship

As we all know, the economy is in quite a state fand has been fr the past eight or nine months. I know that my family has been affected considerably during the past few months. Due to the economy, I was promoted in January but was unable to receive a raise. We are obligated to wait until next April to receive our raise. A few factors affect our current situation. Given that I received my Bachelor's degree in Business Management a year ago in July and that I am currently pursuing my Masters in Business Administration I feel that I should be paid equal to what I could earn with my degree. I have basically had the same job for 3.5 years. Thus, I am not being paid what someone with a degree would earn. That being said, we've also had a recent addition to our family. We are also not allowed to work overtime at work. Thus, it is increasingly difficult to get our bills covered. I know that others have it far worse than we do, but we are still feeling the burn.
Although, the best thing that I can say about this situation is that at least I have my family. Without the support of my husband nor the joy that my children bring, it would be impossible to survive this difficult time. I have been operating through brief periods of depression followed by longer periods of optimism. It's difficult to remain positive during this time, but it seems like the only route to go. Having my children is a great relief and source of inspiration for me. When I had Dustin, I decided to finish my Bachelor's degree and when I had Dakota I decided to obtain my Masters degree. My children make me want to be a better person. Although this time is difficult, I hope that it will soon pass. I don't know what the future holds, nor do I understand the path that God has laid out for us. However, I hope and pray that our turmoil will result in a time of plenty.

In Memory of Chris Logan

When we know someone who has passed on seemingly in the prime of life we are taken aback and wonder at the futility and randomness of such an event. Perhaps we review our own life and mortality and contemplate areas of improvement or perhaps when around our loved ones we take one extra moment to tell them we love them. No method of grieving is incorrect and it comes in all forms. Some become angry, some become depressed, and others laugh nervously. When someone dies before they have truly lived, what do we grieve for? We acknowledge their family and those they left behind. A wife and small child. The wife who will never be held in the arms of her husband and never hear his voice again. The child, robbed of so many father-son moments will never be the same. He will never be taught to ride his bike, or throw a ball, or watch in awe that his father can run so fast or throw so far. And the man who will miss the most important aspects of his life. He’ll miss watching his son grow into a man. He’ll miss his high school and college graduation. He’ll miss the wedding and birth of his grandchildren. He’ll miss it all and he will be missed. Life is so short and so brief. Cherish the important things, family and friends, the rest is just obligatory. The relationships formed and the people we meet along our journey touch a thread in time that ripples on-ward and out-ward toward infinity. Tonight I will go home and thank God that both my boys will have both parents. Problems? I don’t have any, I just thought I did.

Dakota Weber

Well, my little gremlin has two ear infections. Poor little man. When I woke up this morning at 5:00 a.m. he had a fever. I gave him some Tylenol and 45 minutes later he felt the same. I gave him a small dose of Motrin and took him temperature an hour after that because he still felt hot. It was 102! So, I took him to the doctor and he whimpered at her in this pathetic little voice. I was crestfallen. Anyway, so obviously we're home now and his fever is manageable. He's crashed out next to me now. The good news is that he's keeping his food down. Although, I'm told he threw up yesterday at daycare. I'm just glad he seems to be feeling a little bit better. He's such a sweet baby. After his fever went down he was smiling at me again, seemingly more like his old self.
I love my little angels.

Waterbug - The Glorified Roach

There is practically nothing I hate more in this world than roaches, call them waterbugs, call them what you want. I absolutely cannot stand roaches. They make the hair stand up all over my body. As a child, when we were about to move into a new house, we went to check it out and it had a fireplace. I was about five or six. Now, who comes down the chimney but good old St. Nick, right? WRONG! I went to go look up the chimney by myself and stepped closer to the chimney a bunch of roaches scattered. It scared the ever living $hit out of me. To this day I absolutely abhore roaches. I cannot stand them if they are alive. If they are dead I can semi-manage if. I've even gotten the courage to vacuum up the bodies when I've had to. But, tonight I was sitting on the couch and eating some spaghetti but what should literally happen to land right next to me on the side table? But, a huge waterbug errr roach. I started screaming. I ran to the kitchen to get the bug spray and starting saturating the couch. Needless to say it started running and running all over my stuff, my text book, my couch, ewwwww. Of course this entire time I was screaming. I tried not to, but couldn't seem to shut up. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention Dustin was in the room? Of course. So, what happens if the one person you look to for support, comfort, and a sense of overall safety is running around screaming? Right, you start screaming too. Lord knows what we're screaming over, but something MUST be amiss. Needless to say I pointed at the Ewwww and was screaming. Once I killed the stupid thing I went back for Dustin and the poor child was crying and screaming and clinging to me like the world was ending. So, to make a long story short, I'm pretty sure that I just traumatized Dustin for life. Pretty sure any time he sees a roach he's going to scream bloody murder. So, I'm happy to report that I passed on my panic. Actually, I'm not happy about it at all. I guess you had to be there but in the end it's kind of humorous. Dustin and Mommy screaming. Dustin's screaming because Mommy is screaming. Why is Mommy screaming? I don't know, but if she is then f&*k it, so am I. Did I mention Dustin is sleeping with me tonight? Hmmm, be careful of ALL of your actions around your child. With my luck, this will be Dustin's first memory.

Saturday Morning

Well, it is Saturday morning! I feel fabulous! Last night I came home and went to bed right away. I basically slept all night. I woke up at various intervals and watched some tv. But, last night was my night to do nothing except what I wanted. What I normally choose to do on my nights off is catch up on sleep. Being a working mother and getting my graduate degree kind of wears me out! I only worked out twice this week, so I'll to work on getting better at that. The boys are both fed and are wearing relatively clean pants. Dustin put on his own shoes for the first time and he's got them on the wrong feet. He's riding his tricycle around the house with shoes on the wrong feet, wearing a diaper and has one ass cheek hanging out. Luckily we're in the comfort of our own home so I'll let him go for a little while before I get up and fix it. I have four homework assignments due on Sunday night and the house needs its weekly cleaning. So, that's pretty much my to-do list for this weekend. Other than that I'll be hanging out with the boys.
Having two children is a constant adventure. It definitely makes my world go round. Everyone at work seems to be pregnant right now and that's interesting. The thing that keeps occurring to me is I'm so glad I'm NOT pregnant right now. After I get my masters degree then we'll talk about adding another member to my family. Although, I'd rather just have the baby and skip the whole pregnancy thing. It's not doing wonders for my figure. However, the end result always makes my heart sing. My children are the world to me. Dustin with his quirks, and Dakota with his smiles steal my heart every second of every day. I don't get why people wouldn't want kids, but then not everyone is exactly like me. That's probably a good thing. One of me in this world is more than enough.

Chunky Butt

Chunky Butt is our nickname for our youngest, Dakota. He's such a precious little ham. His favorite hobbies include listening to himself talk, smiling at people, shaking his head back and forth really fast to get dizzy, pooping, eating, and hanging out with Mom and Dad. These are his action shots. He turns five months on the 21st of this month. I cannot believe how quickly time is going by. It seems like just yesterday that I was in the hospital waiting to take him home and now he's getting to big. He goes in for shots on the 25th of this month. At the same time I'm taking his older brother in for his 3 year well visit. That's where we'll talk to the doctor about potentially getting a speech therapist for Dustin. So, we'll see how that goes. I've been doing flash cards with Dustin to see if he'll start picking some stuff up. He's trying to say new things with me only working with him for five days. So, that's at least some progress in the right direction. I noticed that when I was home on maternity leave with Dustin his vocabulary and speech improved in leaps and bounds. When we're around other people Dustin, who is typically very verbose around me, is suddenly very quiet. So, I wonder if I need to be his speech therapist. I guess that's another question I'll pose to the doctor. But, in the meantime the flash cards can't hurt.

I got frustrated earlier because we were having tornado warnings in the area and today was Darrell's day to watch the boys. I got woken up after an hour nap. I'm not very thrilled when I get woken up. Can't I just have a night to myself? It's been over a week and a half since I've had one to isolate and be left alone. But, I suppose with a house full of people and Ewww being left alone is an improbable proposition. I'll dream of the day when I have a few minutes alone.